Vajasterous

I've just come back from the hospital. I'm okay luckily but Kevs had a bit of a traumatic time and they are keeping him in for observation.  It started yesterday when I had a girlie day out with me mates. It's Kaths hen party this weekend and so we thought we'd do something classy and get a vajazzle. I'd wanted one ever since I saw it on The Only Way is Essex.  It was a bit of an experience and I almost got chucked out after punching the woman. I didn't mean to, I just didn't know they had to wax you first. It was well painful! I just thought they nestled some diamantes in between the hair. Well, I know now. I had to tell her I had tourettes and it was part of the syndrome. To be more believable I shouted 'sparkly pussy' every few minutes.  It took a while deciding what to get but in the end I chose a butterfly alighting on a pint of beer.  And it looked great! Kath got a dolphin, Kerry got a rose and Dawn got a moustache made out of black diamante. After seeing it I wish I'd got the same.  I went home and had me tea and waited for Kev to come over. You should have seen his face light up when I whipped me pants off!  He went down there to inspect further and I was really enjoying  it (well as much as I can when I'm concentrating on making sure my pelvic muscles are tight) but after a minute or so he started making a funny noise. Well, I'd given myself a proper scrub with the flannel so I knew I didn't smell.  At first I thought he was having a heart attack or something and panicked but turns out he'd breathed in too hard and several diamantes had gone up his nose.  The doctors are waiting to see if they will dislodge themselves and are keeping him in overnight.