I’m sorry I haven't posted for ages, My phone and internet
got cut off after I spent all my dole money on internet bingo. I would normally
have gone down the proper bingo hall with Dawn but it was when I had cystitis,
I couldn’t risk going out and had to spend my time just sitting on a Tena lady. I was tapping into next doors wifi for a bit
but the signal was really shit. The one time I tried to get closer to their router
for a stronger signal, they came home early unexpectedly and now they don’t
hide the front door key under the gnome anymore. I’m a bit pissed off about
that as they always had nice biscuits in and a bidet, which is really handy if
you’ve got to go out on a date but haven’t got time for a shower. Bidet is a
funny word, I think it sounds quite posh, if I have a daughter it’s definitely a
name I’d consider. Bidet Neveah sounds proper nice. I'd spell it Beedette though.
Not too much has happened really, Mam has set up a cake
making business doing specialty cakes for parties. She’s pretty good at it, and has made a bomb
selling them to people who want them for when their relatives come out of
prison, although she has made a couple for people to take on visits, too.
The other day she baked
a cake for Rita to smuggle in when she visited Don in prison but she forgot to
put the file into it. Apparently Don was
a bit pissed off at first but he managed to swap cake for a couple of bags of
cannabis, so it worked out okay. To be honest, I think it was a good thing
seeing as Rita forgot she had cake contraband in her knickers and sat down
quite heavily within the first five minutes. If the file was in there she could
have done herself an injury.
Either that or the file could have been lost for
good, or at least until it showed up on some x-ray further down the line. That happened
when we took Grandad for a scan, we’d wondered for ages where that whisk had
gone. It was very funny, and now every time
we use that whisk, we remember and laugh.
I’ve also got access to the store cupboard,
they’ve got all sorts of strange stuff in there. I haven’t had a proper look
yet but those disposable plastic aprons have already come in handy for when Kev
comes round. I was getting so fed up of him popping over just as I was dressed
up and ready to go out. There’s only so many times you can wear a giant ’21 Today’
badge over a stain.
