Night out!

I'm off out tonight with Dawn which should be good. She's wild, she is. We're off to Glamour Chicks and luckily if you turn up wearing a bikini you get in free and get given a free cocktail, which is good as I'm a bit skint at the moment. I'll just have to be a bit careful getting there as last time we went I got stopped by the police on the way. They said I was 'outraging public decency' 'causing alarm and distress' and could get done for indecent exposure. It wasn't on purpose though and only one of my flaps had slipped out. Talk about over reacting. I wish they'd do what theyre meant to and solve crimes and shit, Dawns sat nav got stole the other day and they've still not found it. It's not like it was cheap either, it cost her thirty quid from Daz from the pub. He had a few on him but that were the best one.

I've been looking at the papers for jobs and stuff today but they're all really boring. There was one though that I think I might apply for. It's working in the dentist and it's pretty good money and I might be able to get free whitening done too. I've not got bad teeth which me Mam is pleased about seeing as the rest of my family would fit in on the Jeremy Kyle show. I reckon they need to combine Jeremy Kyle with a makeover show. I'd watch it more then. Not that I don't watch it now but I tend to only watch it if there's someone I know on it. I'm not really a regular viewer.

Oswald hasn't texted me for a couple of days, he was annoyed at me because I sent 'LOL' in reply to the photo he texted me the other day where he was naked and wearing clogs. How can you not laugh at that? Men shouldn't be allowed to wear clogs.  Actually, men shouldn't be allowed to wear a lot of footwear. I hate mens toes. I used to have to remind Kev to keep his socks on. His toes were so hairy that his feet looked like five mice chewing a pork chop.