Book!

Well, I can tell you that I'm now over Kev. Not that I was ever under him much. It was a bit like having an elephant as a duvet! After several cracked ribs I had to demand we found new positions. Which has been a blessing in disguise, as I am now working on my book on how to do sex! It's called 'Sexciting Adventures' and has positions such as 'tossing the caber' and 'toad in the hole'. All of which I have thought of myself! 

I haven't seen Kev much lately. I went round a few days ago to get the bottle of lube I'd left round there as Oswald the stripper was coming round that night. He didn't answer the door, and as I knew where he keeps his spare key I thought I'd just go in and grab it only to find him and porky Carol from number 33 rolling around on a black PVC sheet on top of a load of profiteroles! 

Things are going great with Oswald though, he's VERY well endowed. More so than Kev, who I had to stop having naked picnics with since a very unfortunate incident where I thought there was a cocktail sausage in with the scotch eggs, it was covered in mustard and half in my mouth before I realised. 

My book is almost finished, it's taken me ages to do all the drawings for it but luckily I have some photos of Kev on my computer that I can include in the chapter 'Fun with doughnuts'